Mike just left for a bachelor party weekend in...
He took a copy of “The Birth Partner” with him. I’m assuming it’s for use in telling scary stories around the campfire.
This morning a woman refused to move her lunch and...
So I thought I’d be super helpful. I picked them up for her, and plopped them right on her lap. I then pulled out my hand sanitizer and mumbled about not wanting to catch any bitch germs. I feel vaguely victorious.
I am an emotional shitshow lately
I thought there would be a point where I would feel less scared about these babies being okay. So far, that hasn’t happened. It gets terribly overwhelming. Add to that missing my family and moving in a couple weeks and you have a completely crazy lady. Today has had its ups and downs, but laying here actually feeling Cousin Larry tap-tapping away is pretty lovely.
Naked, eating ice cream sandwiches in bed.
Everyone thinks it’s because I’m pregnant, but let’s be honest here, people, I’d be doing the exact same thing without the wombliens. It’s a hell of a way to spend a sunny Saturday.
That about sums it up.
I just read a post about someone coming here for the marathon and being surprised at how nice the Bostonians were. All of the comments were from Bostonians bitching about him saying they were nice.
I see a lot of people writing letters to their...
so I thought I’d give it a try. Dear Cousin Larry and Balki Bartokomous, Just wanted to write you a note to say that you’re making me really fat. There’s a girl at work who is a month further along than me and you can hardly tell she’s pregnant. I’m okay with it, but I thought you should know that before you were born, your mom was a size 6 and looked great in a...
I REALLLLLLY want a pot roast sandwich on garlic...
It is the only thing I want in the world. Except that I want another one after the first one’s gone. Damn you Toni!!!!!! I have garlic bread, someone please bring me pot roast pretty please?
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!
Hockey playoffs! That I’m not going to be able to watch because comcast is a soul-sucking nightmare dickhead.
Stop telling me my life is going to be so horrible when I have these babies. Stop telling me how much weight I should or shouldn’t gain. Stop telling me what having kids is like if you’ve never had any. Stop telling me what you think about my going back to work or not. Stop asking me if they’re “natural.” And, if you are a man, DON’T YOU EVER FUCKING TELL...
Cadbury mini-eggs will rise again (when I buy some...
C: Do you celebrate Easter?
E: Oh definitely, just not any of the Jesus parts.
C: What does that even leave? It's all about Jesus!
E: The candy. I celebrate the candy.