The Help - Kathryn Stockett - BookGasms →
The Help - Kathryn Stockett Read this book. Seriously. Read it. I have read a lot (like, a lot lot) of books this year. This one puts them to shame. Set in the civil rights era, the book tells the stories of maids and their employers, and one woman who wants to write a story about the stormy relationships between the two. Stockett, the author, was a child during this time, and her family employed...
In which the librarian conspires against you.
Patron: Do you have any idea how long the network will be down?
Me: No. Sorry, we have no way of knowing.
Patron: So, like, an hour?
Me: Sorry, we have no way of knowing.
Patron: Oh, so like an hour fifteen?
Me: No. Seriously. We have no way of knowing.
Patron: But I just want an estimate.
Me: Do you think I know, but I'm not telling you?
Me: You're right. Its a conspiracy.
Patron: So an hour and a half then?
I better be getting a good present.
Mom: I'll talk to you soon, and I'll see you tomorrow!
Me: Uh, so the Dad is picking us up tonight?
Mom: What do you mean?
Me: From the airport? Tonight?
Mom: OH MY GOD YOU'RE COMING TODAY? WHAT?
Me: I SENT YOU THE ITINERARY MONTHS AGO WOMAN!
Mom: Well, good, cause I might have been mad that you were only going to be here for two days.
"I hate that mean bitch"
The cutest four year old ever, talking to me about the Wizard of Oz movie he was checking out. “Oh my god, he means witch.” ~his mother
Libraries: Unlike banks, we are still lending– ~unknown
Stick figures do too count.
I will now be ordering the graphic novels for the library. I’ve read about 4 of them ever. Loved the shit out of each one. But only 4. Once I tried to write one. Ok, fine. I made a pornographic flip book with stick figures.
You missed a spot.
I bought my niece this “Spa Science” set this year. Mike wants her to be smart. I want her to learn how to give Auntie Erin a good pedicure.
BAD GERMS BAD GERMS BAD GERMS
there is a woman at work who is sick. she just used my phone to put someone on hold, and i picked it up and used it after without thinking. I REFUSE TO GET SICK RIGHT NOW! i’m leaving for pittsburgh in 1 week and 1 day. the paranoia: it grows.
Searching for my Cheese
Guys if I had a husband with the last name of cheese, and we had babies, I could name my kids Double Noodle Mackin-Cheese or TheCheesiest Kraft Mackin-Cheese or Spiderman Shapes Mackin-Cheese I just wanted to share. Its been a dream of mine for awhile now.
i found the photo to go with this title. i was also found how not cute i was as a baby.
Libraries raised me. I don’t believe in colleges and universities. I...– Boing Boing
ive been singing christmas carols all morning
and changing all the words to be about pittsburgh. 2 weeks! rethinking my version of “Pittsburgh roasting on an open fire.” not quite the message i was trying to send.
Two Old Brothers
This man comes to the library every Saturday morning with his brother. Since his brother is mostly blind, he spends the entire day reading to him. They’re adorable and have the loudest old man voices you’ve ever heard. The man came into the library this morning and told us they called from the hospital two nights ago to tell him that his brother had suddenly died. He said he...
No, you shut YOUR face
the teens have discovered “Unclefucker.” cue giggling and looking up at me to make sure i’m not paying attention. i kinda wanna sing along!
There was nothing odd about a mentally challenged man having a borderline...– McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Dispatches from a Public Librarian. There are more strange things that happen at public libraries than I could ever explain to you. (Though I do try my best.) Something like this happens at least once or twice a week. Actually, its more like just about daily....
I'm coming to you for child support
To the mother of the teen who just asked me about my pregnancy: I fit in the same clothes I did three years ago, so I must be gestating an elephant in there. Also, I hate you.
I am not at all cool.
Kid: Hey new librarian lady, what's your name?
Lib: That's old librarian lady to you.
Lib: Oh, god. No. I didn't.... I meant... shit.
Mr Romance Strikes Again
I found out last night that its not that he wants me to be all comfy and tucked in while he turns out the lights and locks the doors before we go to bed. He wants the sheets to already be warm when he gets in.
Party in the Boston MA!
Today is the day. I am now healthically insured. Tonight I will celebrate by licking any and all questionable surfaces (don’t read into that, Mike), participating in a knife throwing event (dont read into that either), and juggling fire (you can read into that one if you want). I also just got a notice that my health insurance rates went up.