I knew there would be hormone crashes. I thought they would be geared towards the terror I’ve been feeling about having three kids so close together. Or my pelvis. Or not feeling good from the c-section. (Side note: STAIRS SUCK.)
But this baby. He’s a fucking dream. Most chill. Sleeps. Eats. Looks around. We just sit there and look at him. When we remember he’s there.
And I find that I’m losing my shit over it. Just really sad that it was so hard with the girls.
I never wanted to hold them because I was never not having to hold at least one of them. It was always a struggle to feed them. I don’t necessarily feel guilty about it, just sad. And a little guilty.
I never wanted to leave the house. If they got hungry while we were out, I panicked. It took an hour and a half to feed them at least. We would be stuck sitting in the car while I nursed and every trip was so stressful.
Declan is what I thought having a baby would be like. And it wasn’t with them and I always felt like something was wrong with me, but they were just so freaking much.
And now they’re sweet and nuts and hilarious, so it’s not like they suffered, but oof. Hormones.
What I’m saying is that this beautiful little fucker is going to be so spoiled.
ALSO, I LOVE NOT BEING PREGNANT ANYMORE. In case you were wondering.